I had the wonderful and fortunate opportunity to spend this last week with my Italian family. I met my second Uncle Santi at the Venice train station before beginning our tour of the Veneto and also Sicily, where our family originated.
I felt completely comfortable going to visit the Italian part of my family; whether because I have only been hanging out with strangers for the last two months anyway or if because we share the same last name I can’t be sure. But there is something naturally comforting about sharing a last name with somebody and knowing that they had the same great parents that you had. It is something small and something which if one wanted could be meaningless. But that is why I was going to visit my Italian family to make relatives long gone and the places that they lived have mean.
Santi was more the hospitable taking an entire week off of work to tour me around his home town in the north of Italy and bring me to Sicily for 3 days to visit his brothers’ families…by the end I would realize that this is just something family should do. From the first moment I met Santi I sensed a pride and a happiness that I had come an that I was as interested as he was in Donatos getting together. Although our tour of the Veneto was wonderful I want to focus on Sicily.
We arrived and were greeted by Santis brother my other second Uncle, Nino. He drove us to his house for lunch and then drove us to their other brother Pinuccios’ house about and hour away . Pinuccio passed away two months ago and was the closest with my grandfather. They would talk almost monthly on the phone and shared many memories. We went to see his wife and young son. Even though lunch had just been had it was time to have dinner and so the Sicilian eating cycle began. I ate more during those three days then I ever thought possible. (side note: I can now speak enough Italian to get my point across and can understand 70% of all that is said if said slowly). I bring this up because I know that when I say, “No thank you I am full”, that I can be understood. Yet I always at meals I was given the largest piece of, the largest plate of, the deepest bowl of everything. And when I was full, truly bloated, there were always tricks or when those failed – force to get more food into me. The first time I would say “No”, to a culinary offering, I would be looked at like there was something wrong with me, ”Was I not a man? And if so ,”Was I not a Donato?”, and then I would be asked again if I would enjoy some more, this time feeling slightly ashamed I would, “Of course I would”. The second time an offering was made and I declined, “Oh, we will just cut it in half”. Well OK I would think at least it is a compromise, even though after eating the half I agreed to the other half would be offered as well. Then my favorite, if I really didn’t want to eat anymore, really at the barf point and I protested another food offering well the food would just be put on my plate for me. And at that point one does not have a choice because food in Sicily is not wasted. I thought that Italian mothers saying “Eat! Eat!” and pushing food was a stereotype, not so.


